if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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