Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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