Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
