farters have to be the big spoon...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Blood and glitter go together right?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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