I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
