Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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