i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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