Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
