The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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