my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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