What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize