Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
