i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
