Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
