I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
