How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize