please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
