elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
