i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
