Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
