Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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