you guys were way drunker than both of me
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
