the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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