You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
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Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
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Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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