im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
