You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize