Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize