And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
