I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Randomize