I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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