Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
