Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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