I hate all girls vehemently.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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