After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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