This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
well you can't waste a boner
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
