I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize