Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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