glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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