that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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