i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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