Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
