I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
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