No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
