so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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