i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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