Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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