so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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