pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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