How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
