found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
