Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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