i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize