Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
