I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
