i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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