Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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